Last night Griffen and I spent a long time in chat discussing stuff. And he released me. He's no longer my Master. He's still my friend though.



Mostly, he was worried because Lin might be going away, and he knew he wouldn't have much time for me. And he felt that he was holding me back. Keeping me from doing things that I needed to do.

We'd been over this before. Several times, since his visit up here for OryCon.

I'd been more or less expecting this ever since Griffen first brought up the idea. But just as Griffen was afraid of hurting me by ending things, I'd been afraid of him blaming himself. And yes, I was selfish, I didn't want things to end.

But I told him to look at things as if it was other people involved. And I pointed out that the fact he was going over things the way he was pretty much showed that he did want to release me.

So, at last, he did do it. Given the "buildup" it wasn't much of a surprise. And surprisingly, his actually doing it didn't hurt. I was more stressed out by his earlier questions that had led to my facing the fact that I might be losing Lin. And going over some of my insecurities about other things.

Anyway, we are still friends, and if his schedule and finances allow, he'll be up for Orycon.

Oddly enough, being released let me do something I'd wanted to do for some time but hadn't done because Griffen thought I should wait for a special occasion. Which I kind of agreed with.

But I'd never guessed that I'd be doing it as a "comfort"/"security" thing instead of something more along the lines of a celebration.

Last night I put on a bra, panties and my breast forms. and wore my "flannel" nightgown to bed. It was kind of nice. Nice enough that I didn't change until well after I was up this morning.

Anyway, this is a big change on several levels. But at least it wasn't traumatic change. It wasn't comfortable, but that's a different matter.